1. |
Friendly Advice
04:01
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three in the morning asleep on your floor
you ask me what I want I answer you that I’m not sure
I’m cold, I don’t wanna go home
I wanna feel something I don’t wanna feel so alone
all the time I can’t make up my mind
if I’m lying to us both when I tell you I’m fine
so hold me close I’m not ready to go
when you put the wick out I’ll be the last one to know
can you help me be close to alright?
do you think I could stay the night?
I’ll be gone in the morning as if I weren't there
you can wash me away like the smoke from your hair
when it circles the drain I’ll do the same
and be nothing
could you give me some friendly advice?
how to live when it feels like I’m dying
when everything I thought that I had is gone
living for somebody else for so long
that even I believed it, but god was I wrong
gripping my throat while I’m grasping at straws
trying to find reasons it took me so long to mean something
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2. |
Second Try
05:35
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you, blowing back smoke into my eyes
your bark stings so much louder than your bite
I try to sing it back like you said it to me
not quite right, ‘cause my voice starts to crack
and my ears start to ring
it’s a crime you get any sleep at night
and if I could write a song that would make you cry
like I did, make you wish you could go back in time
to the day that we met and do everything right
on a second try that I won’t let you get this time
me, running on E in the late june heat
we don’t speak, you sleep on the couch so our eyes don’t meet
you don’t have to see and the carnage and gore
laid in our sheets, don’t think about all of the promises
you never meant to keep
you were lying through your clenched teeth the whole time
and if I could write a song that would make you cry
like I did, make you wish you could go back in time
to the day that we met and do everything right
on a second try that I won’t let you get this time
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3. |
Referee
04:37
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I wish that I’d known better than to let myself believe
that the person that I was before wasn’t still me
I’ve been a stranger in a costume of somebody at peace
living my whole life like I’m a kid on halloween
I thought that I was miserable because of the drink
then I let myself be miserable with full clarity
and realized that I was miserable because of me
told myself that I was doing good
that I was finally living like everybody should
maybe I’m better off admitting that it all was pretend
like the way that I quit drinking just to start again
I know it seems like I’m not trying, I swear the I am
I wanna wake up and feel alright
tired of paying in the morning for the things I did last night
it’s so hard now that I get to set all of the rules for me
when nobody’s gonna save me from my own worst enemy
when the only thing that I’ve ever been fighting was myself
spent so much time thinking it was everybody else’s
responsibility to be my referee
pushing everyone away so I’d be right when they’d leave
throwing punches at the mirror trying to prove something
a martyr nobody asked for, there’s no bravery in killing who I was before
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4. |
Consolation
03:16
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you think you’re gonna fix me? you can’t even help me
some consolation out of pity
I’d rather be alone than let you think
that you’re doing this for my sake
when we both know what’s really at stake
I see how I embarrass you
if you feel better I’m embarrassed too
the barstools on your birthday
I guess I don’t belong there anyway
when you know I’d only make a mess
so try to tell me that it’s for the best
the fairer weather always has to end
now that it’s pouring you can’t understand
nobody’s gonna save me from me
no holy water’s gonna make me clean
and I can live without your sympathy
don’t think I can without another drink
I know you only ever want me
as some shining beacon of recover
you hold a candle to a life lived clean
and I’ll burn it all down pouring gasoline
nobody’s gonna save me from me
no holy water’s gonna make me clean
and I can live without your sympathy
don’t think I can without another drink
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5. |
Goodness
03:30
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when I think of goodness I think of you
falling asleep on the floor of my room
light from the TV painting us blue
and in the morning I’m still awake
the light from the window washed on your face
I trace the line of your form while I wait
I wish that I could just stay in one place
long enough to remember the streets and the names
of all of the places where I’ve stayed the same
waiting around for something to change
when really the goodness was in everything
that I took for granted every day
and maybe goodness is just what you make
of every improbable day
that you get to wake up
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6. |
No Witnesses
04:15
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pull the knife from the wound said “let it bleed”
raise you up from the dirt laid at my feet
when I do I’ll let you drag me down
kicking dust from the pavement into my mouth
like a ritual in a liquor store parking lot
etched your name to the bathroom floor
with my nails dug into a stranger’s skin
in the dark under black lights I let you win
‘cause you love to see how much it hurts
when I scream in the blackness just makes it worse
when I know nobody’s listening
testimony with no witnesses
I wish that you would kick in my teeth
tear out my eyes so that I can’t see
when you walk away and leave me here
trying to summon a prayer, make you reappear
take my voice, break my legs
bring me to my knees but please just stay
‘cause you love to see how much it hurts
when I scream in the blackness just makes it worse
when I know nobody’s listening
testimony with no witnesses
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7. |
Separate Beds
03:39
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when you called me up you were high as a kite
you thought I was home, it was midnight
when you told me you loved me I knew you were lying
but I wanted to believe that thing were alright
for once in my life that something was mine
too good to be true you were just passing time
so pack up your things and set out to leave
two years in boxes, it don’t mean a thing
all that’s left is the bed that we shared on the floor
you said you were bored of me, you wanted more
then you went away in the back of a car
I’d still drive you if I could, it’s not that far
I remember when you said I’m good,
that you thought I was living like everyone should
so if you changed your mind when you realized
who I really am, well then I’m not surprised
because I’ve been reduced to some drunken mess
in your eyes, I wish I could say I don’t deserve it
I held you like smoke in the back of my throat
then you left all the same, left me to choke
on my pride and my fear and my horrible mind
in our empty bedroom you told me goodbye
so that we could go home to out separate beds
left a hole in my chest where you once laid your head
so go on, I don’t need you, your form in my sheets
was a ghost I was chasing but I couldn’t keep
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8. |
Bottom Line
03:21
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pull at the sutures drawn too tight
to entertain yourself another night
and I just love to fight
doesn’t matter if I think I’m right
why do I try to justify myself to somebody
who won’t even try to hear me when I speak my mind?
when I said how I feel and it’s not the bottom line
I wish I was a narcissist, I wish I really couldn’t help it
I did it only out out spite, the worst you could think of me it too kind
so I could be anything you say, yeah I’ll play the villain
just the way you want. honey, isn’t it fun lying to me and calling it love?
but I’m really such a masochist I’d let you do it all again
just wanna see how bad it gets, some hideous experiment
and I wish I was a narcissist, I wish I really couldn’t help it
I did it only out out spite, the worst you could think of me it too kind
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9. |
Boxer
06:18
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jump of a building, I’ll take the fall
like a bird in a cage, flightless against the wall of your room
I’ve got nothing to prove, I’m an actor
sunken eyes, you’re wrapping your hands with a sinewy strand the best that you can
but you’re bleeding out, falling down from your stance, you’re a boxer
tell me who clipped your wings, placed you under that glass?
who quelled your fire to make you so harmless
and tame like like an animal locked in a cage?
who stole the once rosy glow from your face?
ten miles high on a balcony you sit smoking your last cigarette of the evening
choke on the ash while you look at the sky, the smoke dancing
all alone in a queen size bed, did you fill the space that my body left?
are you happier now than you ever were then? you’re a champion
are you reborn? did you find the light from before?
pull it out from my eye to take what’s yours
did you find some holy retribution at my expense?
are you the lucky one? left holding the gun
after it’s said and done
are you absolved of all fault? far above it all, such sagely wisdom so devout
is this what you call love? or as close as it gets?
to use everyone up until they’ve got nothing to give?
you say you want love, that’s not what you’ll get
you get something that’s tolerable and then you live with it
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10. |
Final Recap
04:05
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I let you leave ‘cause it was easier that way
you wanted me to give you something I already gave away
I only wanted to avoid it, couldn't stand to add another disappointment to my list
so scratch them to the wall, count up all the times I let it all fall apart
on purpose, just so that I wouldn’t have to be the one to admit that it’s not working
and at least I could say that I tried
I spent the weekend feeling sorry for myself
‘cause I couldn’t bare the thought of seeing you with someone else
I only wish you hadn’t dragged it out
severed it instead of telling me that we could work it out
so play it back, a final recap of everything I lack
I didn’t know that you were filming
the full collapse of everything that I thought that I had
but it’s nothing like a movie
no title card, no comfort in the ending or the start
but you could still give it a rating in numbered stars
to quantify the value of our scars
I wouldn’t wanna keep you waiting
‘cause honey I know how you’re so committed
to believing nothing lasts, how you’d rather sleep alone at night
than let me hold you back from getting everything you want
so baby go have fun. go on and meet someone
and get lonely with them too
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Count Your Lucky Stars Records Williamston, Michigan
Count Your Lucky Stars is a little label with a lot of love!
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